One Week Remaining

One week from today I will be back in the states. I’m very happy to be going home to spend time with family and friends. Yes, I am a little sad to leave Zambia, but I know that I will be coming back in a few months to begin the next chapter in my life here. What I know will be very difficult is being away from Moses for so long. I have not mentioned him much in this blog because I didn’t want it to turn into a teenage girls diary. But I have loved my time with him here of course. We have done plenty of marriage prep through couples counseling with his pastor, going through a video course and just chatting on various important topics. There has been suit measurements taken, visa applications to be filled out and other various technicalities that needed to be taken care of. And amidst all that we have gotten to spend time together just being together and talking about our childhoods and past experiences as well as what’s important to us now and for the future. I know we have not known each other long by most people’s standards. And if you would have told me in May of 2012 that I would be planning a wedding in less than one year’s time and that my fiancé would be the Zambian who drove our team, I would have laughed in your face. But God has plans beyond our understanding and I am thankful for that. I have finally come to trust Him with this area of my life (my love life that is) and he is blessing me. I love my future husband and I look forward to the time when he will join me in my hometown and meet everyone near and dear to me as we make final preparations to be joined together forever.

Service as Worship

I’ve been reading a book on worship, justice and evangelism. As many books as I read on the subjects I can never seem to get enough. They just help me to continue to cast vision and dream about the possibilities God has in store. They remind me to keep my eyes open to what God is doing and to continue asking for God’s direction in what he would have me do, where and how.

I have always been someone who enjoys serving, but I do often fall into deriving my value from it.

As I make plans to move to Zambia permanently later this year, yes- because I’m getting married, but also because it’s where I believe God has called me to serve, I can’t help but think about the past when I had wanted so badly to devote my life to service in teaching and yet I got burned out and discouraged. I have often reflected on that experience and have come to realize that somewhere along the way between all the studying and lesson plans, I had put serving before my relationship with God. I made teaching my first priority, what I would devote my life to in order to give it value.

As I finished up this book called When Necessary Use Words, the author ended with a very important point. While justice, evangelism and service are all important facets of living a Christian life, they should never replace our worship of God. Our purpose in doing these things is worship of God; He is where we get the strength to serve with a joyful heart. My first priority is to love and worship God for who He is. Service flows out of worship and we shouldn’t replace our relationship with God with acts of service in His name. Though I am most definitely sure that at times it will still be hard and draining, I am no longer concerned about my ability to serve well and plenty.

 

In other news, I’m learning to cook and bake from scratch, which I am surprised to be really enjoying. I’ve found some great recipes for cookies and breads on the internet. This week, I made banana bread, which called for buttermilk. It’s not something you can buy at the grocery here. So I looked up how to make it online; I put fresh cream in a jar and shook it until I was left with butter and buttermilk. I was doubtful that I’d have enough arm power to do it. I was so giddy when I’d succeeded! And the bread was yummy, if I do say so myself.

Loved Ones

Every Monday afternoon Nicki Moyo and her kids go to a nearby village called Sakania. She has been doing outreaches with the kids there for the past 12 or 13 years. This past Monday she wasn’t able to go so she asked if I could drive Mrs. Bandah to teach the children. It was my first time driving sitting on the right hand side of the car and the left hand side of the road. I was kind of nervous, but it’s pretty much a straight shot down a rural road. We made it there and back in one piece, but I wouldn’t say I’m ready to drive on a city road yet. I still need to learn how to dodge all the potholes better too.

Anyway, I have really enjoyed visiting Sakania each week. Though I don’t understand much of what is said, I love seeing many of the same beautiful faces each week. My heart is happy when there are 70-100 kids are piled into a small church building each week singing praise songs and responding as they are taught on the word of God.

As we drove in to the area just outside of the village where the children wait for us each week, many of the kids were shouting the same thing in Bemba. I asked Mrs. Bandah what they were saying and she told me they shouted “God’s Word has come.”

Wow! How incredible. These small children are so eager to hear about God and when they pray it is so beautiful to see their little eyes closed, their little hands folded and their lips whispering to God.

 

While I love being here, it is of course difficult to be so far from family. Especially in times like this. My mom called me Tuesday night (Zambia time) to tell me that my aunt passed away that morning. The funny thing is before I left my sister said ‘you know this may be the last time you see Aunt Franny.’ I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew she might be right. My aunt is always in and out of the hospital, but we all felt like this time was different. It’s hard to think that I won’t see her again in this life. That she won’t be at my wedding or get to meet Moses. But I know that she is at rest now, and out of love for her, that brings me comfort.

 

Culture Mash-up

Another wonderful week in Zambia. As I was taking the minibus (15 passenger van) in to town, packed in like a sardine, listening to music in a language I can’t understand I thought of how happy I am to be here and how I will soon call this place home. It’s really such an interesting and beautiful place. I have to imagine that the Garden of Eden resembled the gardens here. There are so many varieties of trees and bushes with flowers of every kind and color blooming on them. The animals too are so beautifully colored- birds and lizards and butterflies.

The mixture of cultures is intriguing too. I’m sure that in everyplace at one point in time there is a period of time where there has been a meshing of two very different cultures between the traditional and the modern. But I have not ever witnessed this. Here you can see people in town dressed in traditional garb- women wearing handmade skirts and wraps while in the next moment you’ll see a young girl walking down the street in pink skinny jeans and a tank top. Vendors line the streets selling everything from tomatoes and fish to nail polish and cell phones. Yet there are grocery stores and a growing number of fast food and clothing chains. The ‘western’ culture is very evident here, and while I appreciate the conveniences it affords me, I still very much value a culture different from my own.

On a different note: When I went back to the immigration office on Friday I found that I was only allowed one more 30 day extension. So I will be heading back to the states on May 21 and will remain until our wedding in October.

Greater than me

Went to the immigration office this morning to see about extending my visa. It was the first time I took the public bus solo and I didn’t really have a clue where I was supposed to go, except that the office was in town somewhere. I probably wouldn’t have ventured out on my own with that little direction, except that my visa expires Sunday, so it needed to be done. Turns out it was very easy to find, thanks to the couple of friendly strangers I asked along the way. I made it there only to have them ask me to come back on Friday. But at least then I’ll know where I’m going.

After finding the office I explored town a little, trying to get a sense of the direction things were in. It was nice being in town alone getting a little confidence that I can find my way around in this city I’ll soon call home.

Tonight after dinner I was washing the dishes in the Moyo’s kitchen while I had all kinds of worries running around in my head about what my future here would look like. Then I heard from the other room, someone had turned on the cd player and out came a song about surrender, surrendering our lives to God. And in that moment that’s exactly what I needed- to be reminded of who is in control and as much as I worry and plan and think through the possibilities, I came here with vague plans, trusting God to guide me, surrendering to his will. And that’s why my life here is going to be so incredible, not because of the plans I have made but because the plans that he has for me are far beyond what I could ever plan for myself and they will be for his glory because I’m incapable of accomplishing them on my own. “He who is in me is greater that I will ever be, so I will rise.”

Keeping Busy

I’ve been here a little over two weeks and I have really been enjoying my time here. At first it was a little difficult for me because there isn’t really much for me to do as far as “work.” The orphanage has run into some issues getting running water at the site, so there are no kids yet. And I’ll do some decorating of the houses but that won’t be for some time either. In the mean time I have been spending time with Moses, reading, painting and spending time with the Moyos (the family I am staying with, who run the orphanage). I brought a few books with me and one that I read is the practice of the presence OF GOD. While reading it I was reminded that my purpose on this earth is to love and worship God. Yes I can do this through “work” but if I have none it doesn’t mean I am not being productive. My life is not meant just to keep busy, which I can sometimes fall into the practice of. I should worship God in whatever I do. I was then mindful that as I walk to the market, instead of looking straight ahead as I normally would hoping that I wouldn’t be noticed (which btw here is pretty impossible) I would greet people as I walked by. This has proven to make my walks more pleasant and I even made a little friend the other day. I’ve also been mindful of God as I play with the Moyo kids, instead of making myself busy in my room. I’m thankful that God is worshipped through playing with kids and making new friends. What an awesome God we have!

Trying this blog thing...

OK, so I'm really not good at keeping up with posting on blogs. But I'm going to give it a try anyway. I really want to share what's going on over here with you guys at home. So here goes...