One Week Remaining

One week from today I will be back in the states. I’m very happy to be going home to spend time with family and friends. Yes, I am a little sad to leave Zambia, but I know that I will be coming back in a few months to begin the next chapter in my life here. What I know will be very difficult is being away from Moses for so long. I have not mentioned him much in this blog because I didn’t want it to turn into a teenage girls diary. But I have loved my time with him here of course. We have done plenty of marriage prep through couples counseling with his pastor, going through a video course and just chatting on various important topics. There has been suit measurements taken, visa applications to be filled out and other various technicalities that needed to be taken care of. And amidst all that we have gotten to spend time together just being together and talking about our childhoods and past experiences as well as what’s important to us now and for the future. I know we have not known each other long by most people’s standards. And if you would have told me in May of 2012 that I would be planning a wedding in less than one year’s time and that my fiancé would be the Zambian who drove our team, I would have laughed in your face. But God has plans beyond our understanding and I am thankful for that. I have finally come to trust Him with this area of my life (my love life that is) and he is blessing me. I love my future husband and I look forward to the time when he will join me in my hometown and meet everyone near and dear to me as we make final preparations to be joined together forever.

Service as Worship

I’ve been reading a book on worship, justice and evangelism. As many books as I read on the subjects I can never seem to get enough. They just help me to continue to cast vision and dream about the possibilities God has in store. They remind me to keep my eyes open to what God is doing and to continue asking for God’s direction in what he would have me do, where and how.

I have always been someone who enjoys serving, but I do often fall into deriving my value from it.

As I make plans to move to Zambia permanently later this year, yes- because I’m getting married, but also because it’s where I believe God has called me to serve, I can’t help but think about the past when I had wanted so badly to devote my life to service in teaching and yet I got burned out and discouraged. I have often reflected on that experience and have come to realize that somewhere along the way between all the studying and lesson plans, I had put serving before my relationship with God. I made teaching my first priority, what I would devote my life to in order to give it value.

As I finished up this book called When Necessary Use Words, the author ended with a very important point. While justice, evangelism and service are all important facets of living a Christian life, they should never replace our worship of God. Our purpose in doing these things is worship of God; He is where we get the strength to serve with a joyful heart. My first priority is to love and worship God for who He is. Service flows out of worship and we shouldn’t replace our relationship with God with acts of service in His name. Though I am most definitely sure that at times it will still be hard and draining, I am no longer concerned about my ability to serve well and plenty.

 

In other news, I’m learning to cook and bake from scratch, which I am surprised to be really enjoying. I’ve found some great recipes for cookies and breads on the internet. This week, I made banana bread, which called for buttermilk. It’s not something you can buy at the grocery here. So I looked up how to make it online; I put fresh cream in a jar and shook it until I was left with butter and buttermilk. I was doubtful that I’d have enough arm power to do it. I was so giddy when I’d succeeded! And the bread was yummy, if I do say so myself.

Loved Ones

Every Monday afternoon Nicki Moyo and her kids go to a nearby village called Sakania. She has been doing outreaches with the kids there for the past 12 or 13 years. This past Monday she wasn’t able to go so she asked if I could drive Mrs. Bandah to teach the children. It was my first time driving sitting on the right hand side of the car and the left hand side of the road. I was kind of nervous, but it’s pretty much a straight shot down a rural road. We made it there and back in one piece, but I wouldn’t say I’m ready to drive on a city road yet. I still need to learn how to dodge all the potholes better too.

Anyway, I have really enjoyed visiting Sakania each week. Though I don’t understand much of what is said, I love seeing many of the same beautiful faces each week. My heart is happy when there are 70-100 kids are piled into a small church building each week singing praise songs and responding as they are taught on the word of God.

As we drove in to the area just outside of the village where the children wait for us each week, many of the kids were shouting the same thing in Bemba. I asked Mrs. Bandah what they were saying and she told me they shouted “God’s Word has come.”

Wow! How incredible. These small children are so eager to hear about God and when they pray it is so beautiful to see their little eyes closed, their little hands folded and their lips whispering to God.

 

While I love being here, it is of course difficult to be so far from family. Especially in times like this. My mom called me Tuesday night (Zambia time) to tell me that my aunt passed away that morning. The funny thing is before I left my sister said ‘you know this may be the last time you see Aunt Franny.’ I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew she might be right. My aunt is always in and out of the hospital, but we all felt like this time was different. It’s hard to think that I won’t see her again in this life. That she won’t be at my wedding or get to meet Moses. But I know that she is at rest now, and out of love for her, that brings me comfort.